:::Kamal san's scribbles

Kawan-kawan aku semua sudah tidur. Di sini orang tidur awal sebab pagi esok semua kerja awal. 7.30 am dah masuk office. Namun semua balik jam 4.30 petang. Engineer sesetengahnya balik pukul 6.00 petang. Agak sibuk juga di sini, sebab kerja banyak. Berbanding jurutera di peninsular, kat sini kami buat kerja hands-on, kurang bergantung kepada orang luar. Malah jurutera turun padang bekerja bersama dengan juruteknik. Manfaatkan pengalaman yang diberikan di sini. Barangkali sesuatu yang besar sedang menanti di hadapan!

TAdi pergi jogging kat pantai tanjung batu. CAntik juga pemandangan kat sini. Cuma air laut dia tak boleh mandi, sebab dekat dengan loji gas dan loji baja. Takut air dia beracun atau ada bahan kimia tersembunyi. Tapi subhanallah, cantik sekali melihat matahari naik!

Anda bekerja di satu syarikat gergasi dunia. Atau anda dipilih oleh Perdana Menteri untuk bekerja dengannya. Atau anda belajar di suatu universiti yang paling berprestij di dunia. Atau anda menjadi rakyat di sebuah negara yang amat maju dan terkenal di seluruh dunia. Pasti wujud perasaan bangga di hati anda. Kita akan berasa sebegini apabila kita merasakan kita sebahagian daripada sesuatu yang besar dan hebat, tak kiralah sama ada ia adalah suatu organisasi atau negara. Andai anda dipilih oleh Allah untuk melakukan kerja yang paling Dia suka hambanya buat? Andai anda dipilih oleh Allah untuk melakukan kerja yang Dia pernah bagi kat kekasihNya ? Andai anda menjadi calon Allah untuk menyertai para Syuhada' dan orang-orang yang disayangiNya? Adakah anda akan rasa bangga? (di sini bangga bukan untuk sombong, tapi untuk rasa izzah , tak tau apa nak disebut dalam bahasa melayu). Bagi yang telah diberi kesedaran oleh Allah dan bagi yang mula melangkah untuk melakukan kerja menyeru manusia...

This week I was doing plant familiarisation programme. Well, it is basically you just follow engineers around and help them while you learn from them. My bos said once, if you want something good you will be giving something good.

Bila tiba di sini, senior2 berebut2 untuk menjemput aku. Macam masa student dulu pula. Pastu, kat sini bekerja ibarat belajar. Kat sinilah pengetahuan kejuruteraan sebenar diperolehi. Di sini ada switchgear, relay dan CB zaman 70 an hingga yang paling baru. Malah ada sistem baru yang mengawal network elektrik kat sini. Barangkali yang paling kompleks di Malaysia. Aku ditugaskan di bawah jagaan bos yang berasal dari UK. Dia pun ramah, macam lecturer aku dulu. Sesekali berbual dengannya, rasa macam di Monash dulu... Di sini ada sesi diskusi. Macam masa di Clayton dulu. Jurutera2 muda berkumpul kat satu rumah, berdiskusi dan membaca quran beramai2. Ehe, kenangan masa student macam dihidupkan kembali. Jurutera2 muda ini sangat berpotensi. Barangkali approach aku lain sedikit, tapi insyaAllah, barangkali mereka pun akan jadi sebagaimana yang pernah aku buat di Clayton dulu. Amiin. Banyak lagi benda yang rasanya mengingatkan aku kepada aku yang dahulu. Tanah bintulu amat subur. Siapa tahu, ...

Finally I am in bintulu. A small town with some interesting stuff happening here and there. This town is growing. Much more faster than Kerteh and Gurun. This town is famous because of its Liquified Natural Gas plants and also for its natural outdoors.

Pada Ahad 13 Feb 2000, aku tiba di Melbourne, Australia. Di situ telah bermula satu episod baru dalam hidupku. Kini, pada Ahad 13 Feb 2005, aku akan tiba di Bintulu, Sarawak. Bermula lagi, satu episod baru dalam hidupku. Begitu menarik skrip yang telah ditulis ...

Four more days before I am leaving to Sarawak. Man, it's like I am gong for a very loooong time. Hopefully not. It may made me look not strong, but hey ... it's normal to feel that way. I am a human after all. However, I will do my best in my mission over there! Fighto, kamal san!

Today is my last day in this office. Gonna miss it. All my stuff packed and ready to be sent to Sarawak. Sayonara .. tou .. Ganbatte .. kamal san!

Lagi seminggu sebelum aku ke Sarawak. Barang-barang dah dibungkus rasanya. Esok aku akan uruskan sedikit lagi hal-hal berkenaan pejabat sebelum aku pergi. Pengembaraan yang baru bagiku, tak kusangka, tapi ia tetap terjadi. Aku kasihan bila melihat kat keluargaku. Sejak hari aku menyatakan bahawa aku dihantar ke sana, mak kelihatan bersedih. Dia tak menampakkannya, tapi aku masih perasan. Seringkali dia berkata: "Abang nak ke Sarawak dah". Aku kena kuatkan semangat! Aku akan cuba manfaatkan pengembaraan ini sebaik-baiknya.

Berusahalah!

After Chinese New Year ... my adventure will begin. Hopefully it is more meaningful and happier than before. Whatever it it, do all the best in it!

Seorang kawan sekerja membelanja aku makan tengahari. Untuk farewell katanya. Terharu aku. Ada juga insan yang turut sama bersedih atas pemergianku. Tadi baru bertemu dengan dua orang junior. Seorang sudah bekerja, di bahagian marketing. Seorang lagi akan ke Sarawak bersama aku. Jadi, bukan aku seorang sahaja yang ke sana.

People compares. I compare. Everyone compares. Yes, we always compare ourselves with others. It is to gauge the value of oneself. How would we know, if we do not benchmark our capabilities with others. Comparing is good. By benchmarking we know what are the gaps, and we might try hard to close it so that we are at par with others. Once we reach that level or supass it, we will be very satisfied and confident. On the other hand, when we realise we are better than others, we will feel great and will have high self-esteem. In addition to that, we will be thankful to God for giving us those bounties and blessings. Comparing is bad as well. By realising that we are less than others, we might go lower. We will reduce our self-esteem. We will feel useless. We will think that we are worthless. We will become less spirited. This kind of attitude exists in most of us. Some of us even nurtured this way. Mums and dads who compared their children one to another will create low self-esteem adu...

Internet kat rumah lembab betul. Sangatla slow, malah jarang dapat buka webpage. Apakah puncanya?

When we do with our heart, what we do will be done to its fullest. When we do with our heart, all the hardships and difficulties that lie along the path will not be painful. When we do with our heart, we will be happy at the end of the day. Unfortunately, most of us are not doing with his heart. We are doing with half of it or without it. For what sake we are doing those things: our job, our studies, our living?

Aku rasa aku makin gemuk la bila kerja kat KL ni. Makan sedap2. Dulu berat aku dalam 70kg je. Sekarang mungkin dah cecah 100kg. Kena bersenam nih.

With dreams, a human can go over his normal limitations. He can cross borders. He can climb mountains. He can conquer a nation. I remembered those years. I dreamed of getting first class honors in my studies. My seniors warned me of the difficulties of the course. He even failed and extended one semester. No one (under same scholarship) ever completed the course in 4 years. It was impossible. It was thought to be impossible. I wrote it (“1st Class ECSE 2003”) on my study desk. I looked at it each day. It became reality on 4th December 2003. I wanted to see at least people to continue the work on this path among students in Australia. I dreamed it when I was in my third year. It seems to be not much hope at that time. Not many people interested to be involved. Most of the attempts were not really successful. I only have one friend who was also worried about the same thing. Nevertheless, we tried. We tried without knowing what was prepared. Later in 2003, He changed everythin...

I like how children thinks. Children are creative and imaginative. We were used to be that way. 18 years ago, we were creative and very imaginative. Anything we encounter can be interpreted differently by our minds. We were asking lots of questions to understand. We asked our mum, dad and our grandparents. More than 18 years passed by. (I used 18 instead of 23, because at age of 1 or 2, I am not able to talk yet). We became less creative, less questioning. What happened during those 18 years? We less asking and more doing. We do without knowing why we are doing it, for what we are doing it and more importantly what are the impacts, benefits and consequences of doing it. We think our lives are boring, dull and uninteresting. Every day punching in that staff card and punching out, sitting at our desk, eating refreshments at the pantry, dealing with big boss, SMs, GMs and clients, gossiping with colleagues ... following the same routine again and again. In the next 15 years, i...

There are so many things that we learned. Everyday there should be something new to us. Each day that seems to be repetitive, can be exciting and interestin, once we know how to make it so. Each day is a new day, as they are new creation. I suddenly remembered what I mentioned to myself years ago. It is to utilise every single second of my time to its fullest. Wonder why we are not doing so, as our death is coming any time. What is the point of being so sad for so long. It is natural to feel so, but better if we can overcome it. I must try to change the pain into joy, downside into upside, and must live on till the last second of this life. Reading my entries make me hurt, reminding me the harshness of reality and making me less positive each time. I should learn from the things that I did wrong and from things that went wrong. Someone has said to me "If I learn from my mistakes, I am getting a good education!".